I tell myself the same story, every day…tomorrow will be different, tomorrow I’ll do it, tomorrow…
I was sitting with my SO enjoying one of the last cocktails of 2018, discussing resolutions, intentions and thinking about 2019. He was musing over a conversation he had earlier that day about focusing on what NOT to do in order to get what you desire. This resonated with me. As you may recall from a post a couple of years ago, I don’t love resolutions. I think we set ourselves up to fail. Change, whatever it is, can be successful any time of the year. Every time we make a choice we live or don’t live our vision. Each day is a choice about how we want to live; we don’t need to wait for an obligatory date on the calendar. I posted about this a couple of years ago in a post called Happy New Year, check it out if you are interested. But this idea of focusing on what not to do…well that got me thinking.
The thing that is getting in my way, most days, is me. Stories I tell myself, excuses I allow myself to accept. If I was being a friend to myself I would call bullshit when I get in these cycles. So the thing that jumped into my head as something NOT to do that would enable me to live my BigLifeVision is: NO Self-Sabotage.
What does that mean in real-life?
- Sure 6 am is early, but no excuse is a good excuse to not go to yoga, if your BLV includes you living a long healthy fit life.
- You do not ‘earn’ a glass of wine just because you had a bad day, it’s still wine and if you aren’t drinking on Tuesdays, then you aren’t drinking on Tuesdays…period. But if you drink on Tuesday, don’t beat yourself up about it.
- Depression or frustration doesn’t have to win. Sometimes the best next step is, simply, moving forward. Baby steps anyone?
- Be kind and gracious and patient, always. You don’t know someone else’s battle, you only know yours.
- There is always time to see your kids, your mom, your friends…until there isn’t. So don’t wait, take the time while it’s there.
- You don’t need that second serving, no matter how delicious it was or how stressed you are…you don’t need anything.
- That new purse, shoes, outfit will not fix the root problem. It might help for the moment, until the Nordstrom bill comes.
These are just a few that pop to mind. But I know the impact they have on creating the life I want. Why do I self-sabotage time and time again? That answer may be too big for this post…so let’s see how my focus works as I move into 2019. No self-sabatoge, only BigLifeVision.
What is your focus? What is your vision? What are you going to NOT do?
Well written Kimberly, and a thought-provoking topic. My focus for 2019 is to allow persons I care for to grow and experience by themselves, instead of me “salvaging” their issues. Recently I read “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown, a well written (maybe slightly biased 😉) book with many “ahas”. Life it to short to drink cheap wines, and that goes for many other things as well. You need to focus and say NO more often than your habits drives you into.
Well I certainly agree that lifenit too short to drink bad wine! I will have to check out the book.