I’ve been asked 100+ times since that day “how did the Paris Marathon go?” If you haven’t been following along, last May decided to run the Paris Marathon on April 12, 2015. I do stupid things like this every year or so. Paris marked my 4th (would have been 5 if NYC 2011 hadn’t been cancelled – so I kinda count that one too). Paris was my first international marathon. I trained for it harder than any other race. I’m not going to lie, I was after a PR.
So, how did the Paris Marathon go. I finished. As a runner some days are easy, some days are hard. On the day of a race you count on the crowd, the adrenalin, the anticipation to propel you through the 26.2 miles and cross the finish line. On this day, for me, it was hard. By mile two I knew something was wrong. When I saw my family and friends at 2.5 I put on my best game face, gave them hugs and smiles and pressed on. At mile six, I had a slight asthma attack, I was in trouble. I stopped, pulled to the side and thought you don’t have to do this, you can DNF (did not finish).
Then I paused, got my breathing under control and realized that a DNF was not my vision, a PR wasn’t my vision, doing it was my vision. I thought of the conversations I would have to have about why I dropped out. I thought of my sons cheering me on and the conversation I had earlier in the week with Colin who half way up the Eifel Tower realized he was terrified of heights and how he focused on the experience and got to the first level and was able to smile about it. I thought about my BigLifeVision community, I thought of Facebook, I thought of everything at once, like a flood in my brain, I knew I had to try to finish. I thought about how I would feel about myself if I didn’t try to finish. I wasn’t sure I could, but I had to try.
At that moment I looked up and saw one of the 4:30 pace groups pass me and I cried. I reminded myself what I was trying to do: run the Paris Marathon. And I started, slowly, forward with 20 miles to go.
At mile 16 I found my amazing family and friends. As I approached them I burst into tears, the bravado of mile 2 long gone. They loved me, they fed me gummy bears, they encouraged me. (Thank you, you know who you are) They put me back together and sent me on my way. If they thought I could do it, I guess I can.
In that moment at mile 6 and the following 4+ hours after it, I proved to myself that I could do it. It hurt to breath and by the end it hurt to run (I sustained an overuse injury to boot) but I did it, I finished. Sitting here writing this, I cry and I’m proud.
Me, the Arc, and victory fries
Part of what sustains me through challenging events, the loss of a sister, the run of a marathon or anything else the universe throws at me, is my vision of the life I am trying to create. To have a BigLifeVision means to feel BIG feelings, to try BIG things, to live BIG. On April 12, 2015 as I passed by the Arc de Triomphe and headed towards the Paris Marathon finish line my life, I felt as big as the arch and I knew it was worth it.
Each of us have challenges in our visions. Each of us have parts of our vision that will be hard to accomplish. Each of us have to try!
The world will test your vision from time to time. You won’t always pass, but in those moments, when you do, bring them into your heart, mind and body. These moments will remind you what you are capable of and what you can create. These moments make you feel as big as the Arc de Triomphe. Wear them like an invisible medal around your neck everyday to remind yourself – You can do it!
What’s your vision?
Inspiring.